There’s a lot of debate over whether effort should be praised over achievement.Weblog Inc. suggests that both are importantand there’s an easy way to incorporate each into your feedback.
This is just NOT true and the fact that everyone praises it, is quite worrisome to the business owner in me, in need of future hires.
Why does everyone jump on any little thing regardless of how silly, if it has a warm
fuzzy sound to it?We are talking about people we PAY to do a job, not raising children.
”If we say it just right, everyone wins, even the uh, losers”.
Sounds nice, except when you live in that world everyone loses.
And we won’t even get into the “fixed mindset” rubbish that says that
People with a “fixed mindset” believe that their intelligence, ability, and
skill are fixed from the moment they are born, and that only certain people
are able to achieve good things
Where do people GET this stuff??It is not even logical and has NO basis in facts.
In studying child development and adult psychology for over 2 decades, never
have I seen this “mindset” in anyone.
You acknowledge effort and you praise achievement.
Never should effort receive the same response as achievement. Not even a variation of it. They are NOT even close in the game.
Effort matters and should not be ignored. Acknowledge it and even offer
encouragement if warranted, but never praise.
BUT, Effort is ground zero.
Effort is expected.
Good strong solid effort is where everyone shows up to the starting line.
Effort is where everyone takes their test paper and puts their name on it.
Everyone starts with effort (or they will be fired or not hired. Duh)
But in itself, it is really nothing. Because if a goal is to be attained but never is, the amount of effort put forth by “all” is of no importance. So, you acknowledge effort,
access it, decide where it can be changed or revamped. Find out where it fell short and come up with a new plan. Then implement the new plan, hopefully until you “achieve”.
But achievement is achievement. Attaining what must be attained is the what matters in the end and it is what warrants praise.
If we need food, or water and no one attains that, we all die regardless of how many
”tried their little hearts out”
Not sure why every one is So afraid of reality and continues to spin a an unhealthy
fear of failure. Failure is a necessary part of life. It serves us well and should never
be eliminated from our bag of tools.
Children are not stupid and do not need to be raised with semantics. Of course, some adults who were, are now having problems, but it is they who need to re access their issues and understand that “try” and “DO” are not the same and while there is certainly no shame in failure, there should be no praise either.
by Kymmberly GailThe “Master of Main Street”